What Matters Most (an addendum)

This post started several years ago after I got a call late one night telling me that a friend had been admitted to the intensive care unit. The otherwise healthy 20-something had experienced unexpected, major health problems and was quickly put into a medically induced coma. In the days and weeks that followed, friends and family from all over showed their support in a way that reminded me how important people are in each of our lives.

As the “social butterfly” (I can hear my mom saying it now), I’ve always made a concerted effort to keep in touch. Yet, all too often, I fall into my own busy world and push relationships to the back burner.  It’s a shame that sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring people together or to show how much you care.

At that time, I vowed that I would “now call, visit, write and reach out to the people in my life,” but as time went by, I slipped back into the much simpler cocoon of my own, everyday world.

Last month, my beau's grandmother passed away, and it opened my eyes once again to the importance of it all. Ann H. Peirce was a radiant example of someone who— throughout her life—remembered to keep in touch with those she loved. At the celebration of her life (at an age when many pass quietly), loved ones from all stages and ages joined to remember her. It was easy to see how many people she touched. I, for one, know that I will miss her sweet letters, and hope that I can be more like her each day.  What a gem.

So here we go again – perhaps if I tell you, you’ll hold me to it. Today's goal is to be a better sister, daughter, friend, cousin, niece…blogger?  Here are some ways I’m doing it:

·      Schedule phone dates. Mark it on the calendar and stick to it. I recently had a friend feel the need to divulge a serious piece of "gossip" via text for me to call her back. Shame on you, Kate! Awesome to catch up though, Bridge.

·      After checking Facebook, message a friend about what they've been doing (simply stalking won't cut it anymore)

·      Schedule a lunch date for no reason than to catch up – what could be better than adding food into the mix?!

·      Buy fun stationary, and try to write one person a month, just to say hi.  This is one of my favorites, and not just because it gives you carte blanche to by awesome stationary like this.

·      Start an email chain with your group of friends to get everyone updated at once. 

·      Take advantage of video chat–it’s almost as good as the real thing.  I usually use Skype, but also love Gchats video function.

·      Keep a catalog of important birthdays in a place that you see often. Reach out personally to wish them well (again, random Facebook wall posts don’t count) 

·      Try to schedule an annual event for as many friends that can join.  It can be as simple or elaborate as you can manage that year.  (or pressure your friends to get married, so it forces you all to get together!)

What do you do to stay in touch?

Oh, and if you are wondering about my friend, after four days, he woke up, recovered, and then married one of my best friends. (Adam, I’m still wondering if this was all a ruse to have the best proposal ever!?) 

in loving memory of gammy